As 1997 approached I found myself sinking deeper in a mood that I could not explain. The year 1996 started out with a bang but was beginning to fizzle and I could not explain it. Christmas shopping was being done out of obligation. The joy was gone. On New Year’s Eve as I saw the Georgia peach descend and the countdown begin, tears came into my eyes. Praise came out of my mouth thanking God for bringing me into another year but something was still not right. I had a sense of abandonment and did not know why. I sat on my bed in tears asking God to help me. I realized no one knew how I felt. There was no explanation as to why I felt this way.
BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL!
Just recently I went to the movies to see The Preacher’s Wife. For anyone who does not know, I am big on visual aids. These are tools used to make sure the message being presented will remain with you for a while. This whole movie was about faith, hope and love. While watching this movie it suddenly hit me that the way I was feeling was out of a sense of hopelessness. The angel named DUDLEY told the preacher that his problem was that of not believing anymore and the preacher looked at the angel in unbelief.
That’s when it hit me. All of 1996 was based on a lot of activities in pursuit of my vision but somewhere along the way I had stopped believing in my vision. I had stopped believing in miracles. Believe me when that happens you begin to feel totally hopeless.
BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL!
At that moment I began to get a sense of renewal and in the middle of the theater I began to cry silently. You must understand that God had not left me and I had not left God but I was working so hard in trying to get things done that as I explained to a friend of mine my brain went into overload and everything stopped. It was as if the clock had stopped ticking and time had stood still.
In this movie, God was able to show me how we must trust Him with everything. You must be saying to yourself that I should have known that and you’re right. I did know that but Jesus who is the center of my joy had been replaced with my vision. This had become MY vision and no longer God’s vision. Toward the end of 1996, I began to try to make this vision happen and when things were not going the way I thought they should my belief that God would perform it went away.
BUT GOD IS FAITHFUL!
God brought back to memory my DUDLEY experience. As I was driving in my car south on I-85 from work, the left back tire exploded. As I sat there wandering what to do and trying to handle things on my on I looked in my rear view mirror and a BIG white truck pulled up. A young gentleman jumped out and headed towards my car. I got out to see what he wanted. He wanted to know where my jack and spare tire were located so he could replace my tire. Remember my tire had exploded. There was rubber all on the expressway. Almost toward the end I asked him for his address so I could send him some money since I did not have any cash on me. His reply was not to worry about it. I told him that he was such an angel for doing this and his response was “Consider me your angel”. With that I went back to my car to wait for him to pull back onto the expressway but as I looked he was gone. I never saw him come and I never saw him leave.
God reminded me of that experience to let me know when all seems lost or when it looks hopeless, He will always be there. He will send a DUDLEY into your life. We should never get to the point that our pursuit of a vision becomes the focal point of our lives. I had a wake-up call.
I knew that only God could refresh and renew me. I am reminded of Psalms 51:10. “Create in me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me.”
As I left that movie theater wiping a tear from the corner of my eye, no one will ever know just what God did for me during those 2 hours. I started the year in the slumps but because of God’s faithfulness, I no longer feel hopeless or abandoned. I do believe in miracles. Jesus IS the center of my joy and I do believe in angels!
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